Don’t Do New Year Resolutions
I’ve tried New Year’s resolutions a handful of times and was always disappointed when they slipped away a few weeks into the new year. Surprise! I could never stick to a resolution, no matter what it was. I always thought there was something wrong with me because I saw others on social media sharing how they were making great progress with their resolutions months into the year.
I couldn’t figure out why I always failed at keeping those resolutions.
Did I set lofty goals with unrealistic expectations?
Did I focus too much on performance rather than mindset?
Did I choose things that I wasn’t yet equipped to achieve?
It wasn’t until 2014, the year I graduated from my PhD program, that things changed for me. As I settled into my new job, I began reflecting deeply on some of the worst setbacks and disappointments I faced that year (which is another long story, for maybe another blog). I realized that while some people had been unfair or didn’t provide the mentorship I needed, I wasn’t blameless. I had made sloppy decisions, rushed through tasks without care, and acted out of desperation rather than diligence.
Since I couldn’t control how others behaved, I had to focus on what I could control: changing the narrative in my mind that I was a failure, just a victim, and that I had done everything right. As I prayed, journaled, and reflected more, several words emerged as answers to the attitudes and behaviors that had gotten me to that low point in my life: perseverance, resilience, dedication, patience, and learning.
I decided these words would guide my work in the year ahead. I wouldn’t dwell in misery or blame others for the emotional and professional harm they caused me. I wouldn’t repeat the mistakes I made out of despair.
Those words became my foundation for 2015. I revisited them often as I set research and writing goals for the year.
I created a photo with those words and set it as my laptop background, knowing I’d forget about them if they weren’t always visible. I didn’t want them to fade like another resolution.
Whenever I struggled with my research or felt like giving up, I reminded myself of “perseverance,” “patience,” “resilience,” and “learning.”
When I was stuck on a course design or research methodology, “learning” encouraged me to dig deeper into reading and find new solutions.
Whenever I was tempted to rush through writing, “dedication” slowed me down and helped me refine my work.
And when I wondered, “Why am I working so hard?” or “Is this dream job worth the effort?” those words reminded me to keep going.
2015 turned out to be one of my best years as a researcher and professor: I launched several research studies that led to multiple publications, started mentoring and gained some administrative experience, and received several book chapter acceptances that became some of my best scholarly work. I became more creative with my course designs, and those practices continue to shape my teaching, research, and administration.
It all started with those five words as the center of my work.
That was the beginning of my “word of the year” tradition. Each year, I reflect on what word or phrase will guide me in the coming year. Sometimes the word comes from reading, sometimes from recent experiences, and sometimes it emerges during meditation or prayer. Often, it’s a combination of all of these. I’ve learned to reflect deeply on the word and consider how it fits into different parts of my life: work, personal growth, health, relationships.
Here’s the process I follow now:
Reflect: Think about the challenges, goals, or lessons from the past year(s).
Identify Themes: What qualities, values, or attitudes would help me grow in the coming year?
Choose a Word: Pick a word that resonates deeply and feels meaningful across various areas of my life—a word that encourages long-term growth, not just a quick fix.
Other words and phrases that have guided me include Set Boundaries, Detach, and Peace & Courage.
In recent years, I’ve also made a point to read more about these words to better understand how to apply them and grow through them.
If you’re curious, take some time to think about a word that might shape your year. There’s no wrong way to do it—just let it be a guide for growth.
For me, the word of the year is a reminder that each day is an opportunity to grow, learn, and become a better version of myself. Maybe this is the year you find your word too.
Care to share your word?